Diary of a Pod Pilot

Disclaimer: While this article focuses on the negative, I’d like start off starting that a whole I feel Arek’jaalan is a wonderful thing to have, and so are live events as a whole. I understand that lots of time goes into this, that CCP employees have limited time available due to sometimes being on two or three projects, and that neutrality and an all-inclusive approach must be taken at all times which is a lesson that was learned the hard way in the past.

Good, now that is over, I briefly mentioned my woes on Facebook regarding A’J, but I decided that writing it all out would take quite a bit of space so I’ve gone for the blog post format instead. The point of this article is to list what irks me, both so that CCP can take that feedback and use it in future live event arcs, as well as it will hopefully help me to discover if some of these issue are perhaps not just a personal problem for which there are easy solutions. After all, even while a few others around me have expressed these concerns, that does not mean it goes for a majority of people.

Information overload

This is a double-edged sword for sure. On the one hand, if not enough people participate, then this might be the last arc we see, because players would appear as not to care or be interested. On the other hand however, the massive flood of mailing list posts, IGS posts, Backstage feedback, Tweets, and what not makes it that things are being discussed everywhere and at such a speed that I am frankly intimidated by it and have effectively given up on even trying to comprehend what is going on. “Sadly”, this is largely player-run, and where as something that is entirely driven by CCP can be slowed down or made easier to comprehend or get into, the unlimited creativity and enthusiasm of players is something which cannot nor should ever be culled.

EVElopedia is being used to bring structure to the chaos and chronicle everything both for current use as an archive as well as a recording for the future. I’ve gone through it and it has helped me grasp the key points of what is happening. But it is always lagging behind on what is happening right now. Also, it’s quite a big thing in itself already. I sat down and spent over an hour going through everything. And that does not include the archives.

Time investment

It’s summer vacation. For some that means tons of time. For others, including me, it is probably the busiest time of the year. Again, double-edged. But we see this trend throughout the whole year, and it’s prevalent in all things roleplay. Those able to invest the most time are effectively “the winners”. Their names pop up left and right and others quickly turn to them as authority figures, no matter the quality of their contribution. Again, this is something I find rather intimidating. I know I can make a worthwhile contribution. But I cannot say today how much time I will have available tomorrow, next week, or for the coming month, making it pretty hard to contribute. Not to mention that each new hook or plot seems quickly swarmed by those who are online all the time (seriously, I swear some people live on an half hour nap during DT). So why then would one even bother to get involved if it’s a race or a fight of the strongest?

No clear starting point and general vagueness

I found out about A’J a few days after it started, as the IGS tends to be so full of hollow crap it takes a fair amount of willpower to open it and skim it for the gems. Alright, fine, I decided to suck it up and go into the channel, say hello, join in the conversation, see what’s what. And I had fun. I even got to the point where I was actively influencing a topic with my character’s personal agenda in mind. And I got an actor reply to a mail I had sent out quite a while ago. Fantastic! And then I went on a four days vacation.

Four days! That’s nothing, you’d think.  Well, seems a lot can happen in four days. Divisions were set up, multiple investigations had happened, there’s something with item donations, and I believe even a first meeting had taken place. Damn. The kicker is, this shouldn’t be a bad thing. It should be a good thing that things keep rolling and that you could join in again on them. Except, practically, that’s not quite how it went.

I tried, but I can’t for the life of me get an answer to the simple question of “Ok, what is going on and where can I help out?”. I get vague responses, a lot of not knowing but not wanting to admit it, or am being plain out ignored. Ok, fine, I roleplay a Cartel loyalist, that a Matari loyalist will not tell me in character what is going on is something I can still comprehend. But it’s the general vagueness that bothers me. And I’m not quite sure either what is causing it.

I’m tempted to put some blame on the metagame. Roleplay is taken beyond the usual limits. Nothing new there. It feels like this whole thing is used by some to battle out grudges and dislikes. If Party A says yes we must say no, and we must spread lies and slander on them to undermine their credibility, and if Party B happens to be bigger / more active and the general populace likes them, they’re also inclined to win in this. Ugh. If there is one thing that drains my motivation like a fleet of Curses would gobble up cap, it’s that. I’ll be way over there doing something I actually enjoy, rather than fight your bitterness. We’re not in highschool anymore, and I refuse to participate in something that is basically the popularity contest all over again.

Conclusion

While I love the fact live events are back, I’ve always regretted not being able to participate much in them, now that a big arc is unfolding there are a variety of things that stop me, and others, from getting into them. I’d rather stay in the background where I don’t have to deal with those that I’d prefer not to work with (IC or OOC), but it feels like the loud parties on the foreground are the ones who rule the scene. There is also a lot of vagueness happening making it hard to get (back) into the arc. It might all be a personal problem, or a matter of perspective, but it is still demotivating. Lots of information and perceived needed time investment are scary, and while probably not intended or desires, are also factors that cannot be avoided in a player-run environment. In short, it makes me a little sad, because it looks like all factions are going to get attention, yet my growing apathy may very well result in missing out on some Cartel goodies. Not to mention that there is so much other potential I am already missing out on. And I refuse to simply give up without a fight.

Ideas, suggestions and feedback to this would very much appreciated.

Addendum: I’ve in the meanwhile spoke to a few people who’ve given me some good advice, and reminded me that smart people see past the facades and drama, and don’t tend to like the loud-mouths either. So I’ll keep at it, because giving up means never winning. I had a good rant, then slept on it, and decided in the morning that this is still worth publishing. Responses are still very much welcome. 

Our rightful home

Been a good while again since my last update. Not for a lack of action, that’s for sure. I dare say things are busier than ever. And while they aren’t always easy, for the large part I am enjoying myself. That’s right, I love my job.

So what’s been happening? Well, the most important part, which I somehow always mention as last when catching up with friends or other contacts, is that we’re now basing primarily out of Curse. All of Naraka except for PRELI is, in fact. Well, and Aria, but Aria does as Aria likes and that’s alright with me.

We’ve grown quite a bit and I really like our new pilots. They want to be here, too. That helps, having people that share your vision, rather than cater to their visions. Ma’asei Merkabah likewise has taken in some solid pilots. We work together as a coherent unit.

Diplomacy has been intense. Some capsuleers down here can be so difficult. And I don’t do that. Why make things complicated when they can be really simple? Less room for error, more efficiency, and not as much headache and frustration. I understand it though, how thing sometimes become the way they are. But this fear of change and the clinging to the status quo? A strange thing in a region that is constantly changing. I hope it is a pattern we will never fall into.

I met up with Vincent Pryce the other day. It was good to see him again, even though things haven’t been good at all for him. He’s changed for the better in the face of terrible events. Even though he sees it as paying a price for all the bad things he’s done. I hope my words gave him some comfort, as I believe he is far stronger than he thinks he is at times. But I am not a professional psychiatrist, the best I can offer is the advice of someone who cares.

Vincent told me a little about how things are with Veto now. A tricky situation. Until word comes from Venal they are told to not fight back any Sansha forces. I wonder how my other ex-pilots are dealing with that. I can think of a few that must be dying to open fire. Yet they can’t. What if Venal decides to ally with the Sansha? What will they do then? What will Ethan do, even? I am also curious about the future of Veto, now that all forces have been merged into one central unit. In his latest IGS announcement he hinted at further details being released at the start of April — an unluckily chosen date, if you ask me — but even with holding top-level clearance for a while I can’t do more than guess. But those are worries that are best not to linger on too long. What is important is that we can strike down every last Sansha if we please to do so and we’ll even get a pat on the back for it.

Now that I mentioned the IGS, I had a little fun with what looks like to have been Revan’s last public event ever. Both Velarra and I made it through the first round even and I had a long chuckle as Koronakesh’s commentary. Milder than I had expected it to be, actually. A shame the second round fell right into a period my agenda was already overbooked. But then things took a strange turn when politics and love meddled into it all, the short version being that Jade Constantine — Revan’s lover — did not approve and used her position to have things called off. Must say I am disappointed, though not surprised in the solution Revan chose. Shame, at least an event like this brought some change to the ever so predictable back and forth arguments.

I’m sure I am forgetting a thing or two, but time is precious and I have to get back to work. Paperwork is nearly all done, luckily, so now we’re getting to the good bits like making ISK and enforcing our position within the region. More on that in a future post, I’m sure.

A while ago I wrote about a spam message escaping the IGS spam filters causing quite a stir, advertising a series of sensational novels written about various well known capsuleers. Yesterday a second message made it through advertising 8 brand new titles. This time the protagonists are Kai Zion, Mebrithiel Ju’Wien, Gaius Kador, Istvaan Shogaatsu, Kohiko Sun, Evanda Char, Jude Kopenhagen (and Verin a.k.a. Sticher) and last but not least our very own Aria Jenneth. That makes two books for us and would have been three if we hadn’t been forced to release Kai from the roster, putting us on par with Electus Matari. Though we’re soon going to be taking the lead…but more about that in the near future.

Aria, a mother? I’m convinced more and more these authors are having great difficulty finding real facts about us to turn into smut and instead use what they couldn’t apply elsewhere. Wonder who of us is up next now.

On Friday I attended the Festival of Life together with a few other members from Ghost Festival. An open invitation on the IGS was extended to everyone wishing to celebrate life. It was held at the compound owned by pilot Grak Yarn. There was a band playing and lots of fine food and drink to enjoy. I’ve met up with quite a few capsuleers which I before only knew through popular neocom channels such as The Summit or from discussions on the IGS. A few of them introduces themselves as readers of this blog, which made me quite proud! It was most interesting to meet so many different people on neutral grounds. As such I look forward to the next time this is organized.

Not all was well on Friday though. At the same time of the invitation I recieved the news that Aria Jenneth would step down as CEO of Ghost Festival as well as leave the corporation entirely to return to Saiso. While I don’t fully agree with her reasoning I do admire the immense courage it must have taken her to leave behind a corporation she truely loved to return to home and furfil an old vow. Also I do care a lot about my old home world, though I feel my place remains here. While some of us are protectors, I decided to walk the path of the seeker. As such it is a great honor that Aria has passed on the torch to me. I hope to realize the dreams she once had and furfil my role here.

Another monday, time for an update. To start off, I have taken more time to go out roaming. The first roam early last week was a training session and almost became very profitable when we found 3 mining barges at a gravimetric signature. Too bad they noticed the scanning probe. The objective of the roam, to teach some of our new pilots a thing or two about flying and surviving in small gangs, was reached however.

Then near the end of the week as I was cleaning up some rogue drones (read: turn them into scrapmetal) for the Thukker, I noticed a Rupture in one of the belts. Alerting about this over the corp channel, said Rupture was quickly tracked down and taken out. Turned out the Rupture pilot was an aquintance of Kelsy, and wanted to test out a setup passed on by his grandfather. I’m still not sure what to make off the man, he seems to enjoy hanging around the Skyhook though. Between the destruction of the Rupture and some rum shots at the Skyhook, we went on another roam, but a large recon conflict which we got caught inbetween forced us to turn around.

In the other news, I’ve been participating more in discussions on the IGS. Aria has written another excellent piece, there was some drama which I couldn’t resist sticking my nose into, and I even congratulated Duty. on making a smart move. Beats the usual dreadfully long posts with little to no content which I hardly bother paying any attention to. Most notable however is this broadcast.

And what about our industrial plans? As always there’s progress but we’re not yet at the end. I personally hope to have that changed by the end of the week but realistically it could take another two weeks at least. Still the outcome should be worth all the hard work.